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Sequester Nation

April 9, 2013


I should have listened to President Obama.  I should have called my Congressman, my Senators, the Speaker of the House.  But I just never imagined it would be this bad.  Or happen so fast.

This morning, on walkies with my dog, I saw a feral pack of children – kids from the shuttered Marin Country Day School – gnawing hungrily on the remains of a grackle – growling at each other as they struggled over the already picked-over bones.  Their Ralph Lauren toddler wear – so crisp and pristine just months ago, was soiled and ragged.  They were confused, unable to comprehend the disaster that had visited upon them.  First, their healthy, organic meals and snacks had been reduced to mere morsels of chicken nuggets and canned corn.  Then the school’s Olympic pool was drained, their WiFi was disconnected and their flat-screen televisions went dark.  And finally, for lack of vital Federal funding, the school was padlocked and the children were turned out to fend for themselves, like urchins in a Dickensian dystopia.

Later, behind my local Whole Foods Market, I witnessed a crowd of laid-off teachers, cops and firemen rioting as they fought for scraps from a dumpster.  Women were trampled underfoot as men flailed their fists and, reduced to beasts, gnawed at each others’ ears.

This afternoon, fearful of total social collapse, I loaded up my car, slapped an extended magazine into my AR-15 and headed off to a remote mountaintop in search of a secure position with a clear field of fire.  Highway 101 was virtually empty, except for zebras, giraffes and wildebeest – released from the de-funded local zoo – grazing in the overgrown median; and lions and tigers lurking in the blind spots where cops with radar guns used to hide.

Most of the radio stations have gone off the air, but I was able to tune into a station from Sacramento.  My Spanish isn’t all that good, but I was able to make out that a shipload of rice – a gift from the people of Bangladesh – is sailing its way to the docks at San Francisco.  We can only pray it comes soon.

For now, I still have good 4G reception, but I can hardly bear to read the news on my iPhone.  President Obama has been forced to postpone his vacation.  Congressional aides are subsisting on Ramen noodles.  Joe Biden, on a vital mission to plead for help from Azerbaijan, is huddled, miserably, in a Super 8 motel.

God, what have we come to?  What have we done?

I should have listened.

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